The devil used to be a buyer of so… But now he’s a seller To the Big Five tech companies Because the money is just too good How does the devil sell

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

The universe is a kinetic watch so time only keeps going if we’re on the move making Zeno’s paradox of motion just a way of reassuring ourselves

Blood is thicker than water Unless it’s blood From a turnip

Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated

A fair competition Is one in which No one can win So that everyone Has an equal chance

This isn’t the best of all possible worlds but God does His best with what we give Him to work with

We are all mistaken in locating the black sheep’s diff… in the color of his fleece when the real distinction is that the other members of the flock

There’s no time like the present as we now reside outside of time inside a stalled clockworks as useless cogs in the rundown machine

On a scale of one to ten One being the lowest Ten being the highest Rate yourself Then imagine

She went to law school; I bet it all on brick ov– en pita and lost

Living during COVID-19 Was like trying to eat A bag of individually wrapped M&M…

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

On the one hand even the talking cure can’t cure death On the other hand you can’t talk it to death