The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any

We used to have the haves and the have nots But then the haves were further subdivided into the haves and the have to

I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…

In a Hegelian reversal, I couldn’t com– plain but it would help

Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path

If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business

While loved ones may or may not have the chance to say goodbye to the

A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

To get into heaven they tell you that you have to answer one question correctly and that there are

I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego

The kingdom of heaven is like a tr… where gentlemen may remove their h… while all others must

When all politics were still local to exert power you were required to go where the people were gather… In cyberspace all politics are nod… and to exert power you require the…