Mid-life is when you realize you’re in a clown car The end of life is about accepting that of all the clowns

My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

The culture war is a total war burning down everything from sea to shining sea

I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

Science was happily letting the cat out of the bag until Schrodinger’s Cat was found in and out of the bag at the same time

The internet is based on sensual p… Minus three or four of the senses And one or two dimensions of space…

The last stage of wes– tern civilization was groupthink without groups

The difference between God and ma… When we get up to our usual shenan… God always says Frankly my dear, I do give a damn

I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface

You’re only a real materialist If you demand that believers Do the impossible And then get angry When they prove you wrong

Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together

Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant

Never Win Anything

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of