Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know
On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…
Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk
Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think
Updating Yeats’s “The best lack all conviction While the worst are full of passio… I’d say The best lack all conviction
While others await the second coming my own second shortcoming (the first– keeping the peace
The only stipulation they put on our capitulation was against any abrogation in accepting their congratulations
The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth
I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false
My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion
We’ve got enough to go on That there’s enough for everybody So long as we are tough enough But we couldn’t leave well enough… And soon enough
It’s when all the signs say Everything must go
When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning
It’s the odd couple that isn’t always trying to even the score
When you can work from anywhere anywhere will do