The epic poem for this epoch will have to say the most with the least

You have your Mr. Fix-It and your Mr. Learn-To-Live-With-It

The brain is pattern-seeking And it will keep making the same m… Until it sees the pattern for itse…

You can tell that the far right Borg and the far left Borg are one Borg because Donald Trump

A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection

2/3 of the Earth Is covered by water So, most of the underground Is under water Accordingly, in dreams

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

What would my life be like If I stopped worrying And trusted God completely? Instead of preparing for the worst And hoping for the best

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Nature codes us for the road Man decodes and lo, a crossroads Where God goads

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

What I lack in subtlety I make up for in volume

We confuse freedom for the act of choosing when our frontal lobe has no choice but to choose just as a heart must beat

A woman’s air of mystery is intended as the breath of life but received by men as a crime to be solved