My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

Somehow we evolved to love a challenge but hate a challenge to our thinking

The days of having a cold spell have given way to the era of casting a cold spell

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

After fifteen years of marriage I thought by now I’d have made partner

It’s not just that “Man is wolf to man” It’s that he has always known this about himself and yet

Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy

I always wondered why there are several teen archetypes on offer in The Breakfast Club– each with their own exquisite agon… but also the promise of redemption…

We used to have the haves and the have nots But then the haves were further subdivided into the haves and the have to

In order to live I can’t die (but you can) In order to live and let live I must (eventually) die

When our mirror stage was over we didn’t just lose the mirror we also lost the stage In replacement we got a screen (for screening out…

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

Mid-life is when you realize you’re in a clown car The end of life is about accepting that of all the clowns

Everybody knows that the media is a weapon of mass distraction Social media takes the next logica… as a weapon of mass refraction that distorts our vision beyond re…