Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis

My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said

When we poll people about what the weather in heaven is like the most popular answer perhaps not surprisingly is like a cold day in hell

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

My boss said It’s my way or the highway so, I took the highway to hell But when God said It’s your way or the doorway

Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think

Jews have learned the hard way How to discern when someone has Failed to earn their F for failin… The tell is whenever a Jew just Living a life

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

You know the (re)normalization of… is in full swing when the New Yor… justifies its publication of a cro… in the shape of a swastika on the start date of Chanukah

Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as

The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him

Darth Vader. Only you could be so bored.

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…