In the beginning of the internet the world wide web was brimming with optimism due to a recency bias

Slow and steady wins the race If there is no finish line How do you win If you can’t finish first? If you’re the one

Of late, being good materialists we put space first calling this universe spacetime Yet, at the speed of light it’s not space collapsing

In the story of The boy who cried wolf There was no wolf Until there was And there still is

When things were easy going it was easy to believe you were on the up and up But when the going got tough suddenly you were going

Upon my retirement I thought to myself Maybe now I can get some work don…

I respond to A nail in my tire Like it’s the last nail In my coffin

At long last Today is the day I owe it all to you And I can only repay my debt By giving my all

People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

All of the lakes are great But one of the lakes is superior

On the internet You have to talk the talk Or you have to walk the plank In the world to come You have to talk the talk

Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess

My analyst says I want to have my cake and put it in a time capsule too

Optimism Hope without optimism Hope against hope Unconditional surrender Noncontingent being

Even when I’ve had sweet dreams Sleeping leaves a bad taste in my… Because even good dreams are bad d… Since the worst thing you can do t… Is to fulfill his wishes