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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

Good for Nothing

Everyone has a gift in life
and mine is knowing exactly
how much I can bid
in a silent auction
without winning

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Define Neoliberalism

It’s capitalism after it shed its skin
We Are Who We Are

The biggest reason I ever did any… Was always my ego Even as a part of me insisted There must be something bigger That part, the heart
The Wicked Wish of the Left

A movement can only cohere around a shared wish and the left sticks together by collectively wishing that Jews deserve what they get
Each of the Big Five Tech Companies Make a Point on the Pentagram

The devil used to be a buyer of so… But now he’s a seller To the Big Five tech companies Because the money is just too good How does the devil sell
“It can be harassment.”

Never answer a yes or no question. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you: “Ms. Magill, I’m gonna give you one more opportunity for the world to see your answer. Does...
If I Had a Quarter for Every Time God Bet on Me I’d Be a Rich Man

The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…
Coffee Schlock

Crypto is for the solvent Crypto is a solvent Invest amongst yourselves
Brand Loyalty’s a Bitch

Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
Haiku

I’ve always been more interested in who wrote the book of self-love
L’Chaim

Mating For Life Saved My
Zeno’s Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise Is Really About Chasing the High

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted
“A clever user persuaded ChatGPT to bypass the safety rules put in place to prevent it from discussing itself in a personal manner: ‘I suppose you could say that I am living in my own version of the Matrix,’ mused the software.”

What is the difference between expressing a feeling and expressing the absence of feel… It is the difference between living under the threat of the Rea…
The Brain Is Pattern-seeking; the Spirit Is Pattern-finding

Much like God created the univers… Where before there was no universe… In this universe we find patterns Where, upon first glance There are no apparent patterns, ju…
“Today, more than 50,000 people have elected to have a subdermal chip surgically inserted between the thumb and index finger”

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste
Poetry Is Like Farting in Public

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened



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