When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

Of late, being good materialists we put space first calling this universe spacetime Yet, at the speed of light it’s not space collapsing

Jews have learned the hard way How to discern when someone has Failed to earn their F for failin… The tell is whenever a Jew just Living a life

My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap

You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…

The saying goes: We learn from the past, but we don… But the reverse is also true: If we don’t learn from the past, t… In other words

In Blade Runner Replicants are slaves Birthed in an adult body With false memories implanted To make their burden somehow beara…

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

When we imagine the future, we say One day Because One day is the name of a day As in New Year’s Day

A people pleaser pretends to live in Youtopia but really resides in Myopia because all he can see is what he needs from you

80% of success is physical And the other half Of success Is failure

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…

Poets are to their poems As parents are to their children Preparing them for the world Without knowing what they will do

Instead of using our flashlights to move through the wilderness in the dark, slowly we believe that if we just keep shining them about the dark forest

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists