In my second marriage I went all in on being authentic When she left she said that being with me

When the people believe The Constitution protects and uph… Their varying beliefs But when the people don’t believe Embracing nihilism by replacing G…

People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates

Hell is having infinite wishes but using them all to wish for infinite wishes Heaven is having infinite wishes but only needing

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

It’s easier for capitalism to end than to imagine the end of capital…

Heads you take the risk Tails I take the reward i.e., Out of many risks, one fortune

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

My mistake was believing that Smart was short for book smart When actually Book smart is short for book smart… I only figured this out

Big Brother used to just Cross his fingers To avoid telling the truth Then uncrossed them into a V for Vacancy

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

The best part about Being a part of something great Is that I get to do my part

Where the Cold War was Spy vs. Spy The Psyberwar is Psy vs. Psy