If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

You may think that the unconscious Is there to protect you from seein… How the sausage is made Because if you knew You wouldn’t want to eat it

My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough

The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

The soul is like water The body a glass And a dead body is just A glass from which All the water has evaporated

Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is

I am not who I think I am I am not who you think I am And I am not even who I think you… I am who I-Am-Who-I-Am thinks I…

The male gaze sees all or nothing unless it’s blindfolded– then it sees both

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

At bottom God is a brute fact and Satan a brutal fact

Scarcity isn’t a lack of abundance– it results from overabundance which enables hoarding

Our mistake is in believing That a lifetime of events Come varyingly in one of two forms… Blessing or curse When in truth

I brought a wife To a gun fight Don’t worry You haven’t met my wife

Money is our failed attempt To materialize trust Making true wealth An unshakable trust

What I lack in subtlety I make up for in volume