I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not afraid of dying but I am afraid of dying alone

At first we thought This changes everything We weren’t exactly wrong But, of course Everything is highly adaptable

The fatal mistake Is taking his weakness For kindness

You know a civilization by its ass… and ours assumes a great deal of d… To finance that debt we assume that the best predictor of future… is past behavior

My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part

No one ever told the truth but not a one of us were liars because we always spoke exclusivel… in the future tense

Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is

Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys

A mind without a body, Say one that’s been uploaded to th… Is like a thought without words– You can picture it But it’s senseless

I’m not at liberty to say exactly… Batman and Robin change their clo… while sliding down the Bat Poles but I can share that it involves a lot of Alfred’s band…

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch