In East Germany they had a planned economy and an old joke: I pretend to work You pretend to pay me

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

In the first half of life I tried it your way and succeeded which is how I got over you In the second half of life I did it my way and failed

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it

In the past Anyone on the far right or far lef… Could look all the way across the… And see their opposite On the far right or far left

Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like

Skulls of Roman glad– iators indicate high rates of C.T.E.

Once you have gained accession to the object of your obsession you’ll remain incapable of graspin… let alone even asking if you just might be the object of…

I grew up listening to Barbara St… You don’t bring me flowers anymore and determined I’d never make that… Ten years into marriage my wife sa… Don’t bring me flowers anymore

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

The last thing Tony Robbins ever… You’re rather sanguine for somebod… he’s an incurable Pollyanna

You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained

Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging