Materialism’s biggest assumption Is that death has the last word Which is why In their fear of death Materialists never let anyone else…

A dissident today is anyone who realizes that since you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

An antisemite is someone who sees… And wants to keep it for himself So hear me, antisemites– Your obsession Does not make us

You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear

God doesn’t make mistakes; God makes people People make mistakes And learn from them that God doesn’t make mistakes

As the world closed in the Pollyanna sought safety in numbers only to find herself taking a number

A leader attracts a following The following attracts a crowd The crowd mobs the leader The leader forms a mob The mob goes mental

We used to wonder What will they think of next? Having lost our capacity for wonde… We insist Now they’ve thought of everything

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

After you’ve uploaded everything t… and run the lot of it through the… be sure to recycle, but keep a lit… perhaps in a locket around your ne… or, if you go in for irony,

Some people say They were born too late; I was almost born too soon But then along came the internet Just in time to stop time–

The only reason to pursue fame is to forestall the possibility that you’re the kind of person who would die wishing you’d been more famous

I had previously asserted that The only thing bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me This remains the case But I would add that

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity