People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions

In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!

I don’t get mad I get odd

The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won

The ego is a helicopter equipped to safeguard belonging deter conflict and elevate status

I don’t meet many people with a mind like a steel trap Instead, the really smart people tend to have minds like trawling n… to catch the really big fish

We used to worry about selling out; now we’re terrified of not buying in

The most common form of fooling ourselves isn’t thinking we’ve got everyone fooled… It’s denial that we’ve fooled anyo…

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

You can die a million times Without a single ego death But one ego death is worth One God

When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy

The best a mystic can say is that while none of us are one of a kind we’re all kind of a one

The most hellish aspect of hell is how some of the people there don’t mind it at all