We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

People want to get rich because they think money will make them happy People want to stay rich because they know that money

Jews learned the hard way That because God sanctions God also sanctions– In this lies their certainty about… Most other nations just know

The whole key To reinventing the wheel with cybe… Was making the ratio of the circum… Of a circle to its diameter A rational number

There was once a time when No Jews allowed Meant No Jews allowed But now they say

A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value

The most surprising aspect of the… though perhaps it shouldn’t have b… was the amount of paperwork it gen…

Where once I feared death Now I fear that Death will be anticlimactic

You always hear that technology is neutral but AI is like people in that its neutrality is mere obfuscation

For the antisemite the Jews’ most galling offense is the audacity of their survival, decoding the latest antisemitic sl… the smear of “Jewish Supremacy”-

The only reason to pursue fame is to forestall the possibility that you’re the kind of person who would die wishing you’d been more famous

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky