You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

Friendly competition is heaven on… Culture war is hell on wheels Of time But now that our culture’s wheels… We’ll soon be out of time

God is the storm un– til He becomes your shelter from the storm. Amen

Nothing is more anathema to our ti… than a phrase that was still secon… just five minutes ago: May the best man win To understand everything we’ve los…

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

The ego is like a booster rocket That starts out incredibly massive But sheds its size As it delivers its payload– The soul–

Nothing is Risk-free Except hell

Our bodies are exactly as strong as gravity’s resistance makes them… in recognition of mortality we symbolize this through the know… that gravity is the weakest

I brought a wife To a gun fight Don’t worry You haven’t met my wife

Instead of using our flashlights to move through the wilderness in the dark, slowly we believe that if we just keep shining them about the dark forest

American Express changed its slog… “Don’t leave home without it” to “Don’t live life without it” in acknowledgement that

The human capacity for love is perfectly equaled by the human capacity for aggression The chances that these two traits would have been selected for

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

All of the lakes are great But one of the lakes is superior

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion