I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

The distorting effects of social m… have left us warped But we’ve made the best of it seeking our daily pleasure in deciding what

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

Almost every student prefers and l… But will almost always take the vi… Because those classes are always e…

People tend to be wrong and through their errors get closer to the truth This is known as freedom The most sacred narratives

The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false

Whereas Mayor McCheese loved reading about himself in the newsp… ex-Mayor McCheese was served with divorce papers

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

Love may never win but love always ties

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal