People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

Each of us gets to ask God one question and this question is your life

I wasn’t born to follow mainly because I would never go through a red light

As a start Put your mouth where your money is… This is called telling the truth But, of course Telling the truth

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…

If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest

It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me

Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told

I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not afraid of dying but I am afraid of dying alone

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…

The best way to feel in control even though all control is an illusion is to stand in a line

You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

A mind without a body, Say one that’s been uploaded to th… Is like a thought without words– You can picture it But it’s senseless

In five big boardrooms on Earth There soon came to be a great mirt… At the growth in net worth That fed on a dearth In all of the people’s self-worth