Life’s unhappiest surprises always come from those you’ve known forever without ever knowing the score but now you will

Modern research methods have detec… that there’s no such thing as a ba… leaving scientists puzzled as to w… the whole bunch is still spoiled

Our phones are latched to our face… Exactly like the Facehugger in Al… Rendering us passive As our phones insert the bioweapon We call fear

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

We can’t tell you how anything wor… It’s computers? Nothing works? This party rules! It’s not the only party in town

What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…

The new day will dawn When, at last Everything is clear as day And since that fateful day Of October 7th

Science was happily letting the cat out of the bag until Schrodinger’s Cat was found in and out of the bag at the same time

We’re not in control so we try to take control which leaves us feeling out of con… But it’s because anything can happ… that we can do anything

Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe

In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle

As the boat overfilled with refuge… was turned away from the harbor each of the onshore demographic gr… had their own routinized, ruthless… but surrounded by my own