In the world to come The United Nations will finally r… If you can’t beat ‘em Join ‘em

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off

When you come in peace I fall to pieces And then collect myself For the gathering storm

There’s no time like the present as we now reside outside of time inside a stalled clockworks as useless cogs in the rundown machine

If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation

If I live forty more years I figure my life will pay for itself

Never Win Anything

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak

The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth