When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

The difference between art and rea… is that the artist is doomed to re… the triumphs of the past

I brought a wife To a gun fight Don’t worry You haven’t met my wife

We’re not in control so we try to take control which leaves us feeling out of con… But it’s because anything can happ… that we can do anything

I’ll go those who want to live on forever in their apartment… one better– I’ll never even leave

I was thinking of a logo for my personal brand and I came up with a lightning bug in a glass jar

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

We’ve taken the last ember in the ashes for a glimmer of hope

When they told me I was one of many I took them to mean I was the one

You can’t break the chain of events but you can break the chain of custody for the chain of events

Telling ourselves half-truths Is worse than telling ourselves li… Because Although the truth will set you fr… Just as you can’t be half pregnant

The American far left lacks a unifying Great Leader because as a cult of narcissists each disparate member belongs to their own

I hope to live several decades more making it odd to know so very well what they’ll put