Cartoonists always draw the lightb… pointing up so that no one will think it’s a n…

Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote

The trick is to craft a conformism so elaborate that you convince yourself it’s bespoke

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?

If you want to feel a little bit guilty just break a rule or two But if you want to feel well and truly guilty

A movement can only cohere around a shared wish and the left sticks together by collectively wishing that Jews deserve what they get

The wrong crowd used to let things get out of control Now the wrong crowd has the best

Your life is just a reflection of… So, imagine what would happen if The first cause was your first pri… In the beginning It just might cause you

We are all mistaken in locating the black sheep’s diff… in the color of his fleece when the real distinction is that the other members of the flock

On the one hand even the talking cure can’t cure death On the other hand you can’t talk it to death

If you can catch someone lying to… you can figure out what they want… If you can catch yourself lying to… you can figure out your own desire The former can make you rich

I dream in color but my interpretations are in black and white

Liberalism without religion is lik… dining at an all-you-can-eat buffe… There’s plenty of everything but everything is so-so Religion without liberalism is lik…

The devil used to be a buyer of so… But now he’s a seller To the Big Five tech companies Because the money is just too good How does the devil sell