The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth

If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it So, in case of emergency Break heart To break free

When women need a break from the m… they must be able to endure a whole lot of his navel gazing

Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

There are only two questions: Are we asking the right question? and Who gets the last word?

In the 2020 reboot Bugs Bunny’s persona has shifted from invulnerable trickster to pseudo-empathic scold

The easiest way to tell that climate change is a new religion is that it allows for plenty of missed deadlines

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

I dream in color but my interpretations are in black and white

No one seems to see (least of all me) that being all you can be isn’t about clutching superiority– it’s for abjuring mediocrity

You can never be happy with what you have; on– ly with what you lack

You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack

It’s a truism that life is a roller coaster ride But it’s also true that unlike a roller coaster things get even more interesting