The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

War is hell, but be– ing conquered is hell on Earth which makes it much worse

I generally find that the only thi… People are less interested in hear… Than what I dreamt about last nig… Is the poem I wrote this morning Which actually makes sense

God is like a gifted analyst In that He leads you to reach Your own conclusions God is unlike an analyst In that He doesn’t interpret your…

It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;

Yes Life is a pain But it is a labor pain

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

You wanted them all to yourself because they didn’t want anything to do with you and this is the sound of

Heads you take the risk Tails I take the reward i.e., Out of many risks, one fortune

Everybody knows The pen is mightier than the sword But few understand That it’s because The pen is a lightsaber

I was one of the ones who craved religion without religion This, apparently was easy to arrange But now that I’m longing for

When the world is a tsar Insisting: Don’t you dare be who… Take it as a dare and risk the sca…

In the beginning There is a darkness in which All you can see are the others But then you have time To find God

No one was more surprised than the… when we cracked open his shell and… the inside covered in mirrors