My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it
We’ll never win a power struggle But that’s never stopped us trying And we always end up tying Because our fates are tied togethe…
If you want to ruin a man give him what he wants– This is the devil’s only secret
God broke in half-way through my prayer and said You’re on mute
God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!
When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–
If you accept this mission This message will self-destruct In five seconds So that you can be born believing… Which is the necessary condition
A materialist uses Occam’s Razor And arrives at the conclusion That the simplest explanation Is that there is no explanation A believer uses Occam’s Razor
The devil is in the details And God is in my feelings Here are the details on my feeling… I feel like The devil is just here to force th…
There used to be two types of peop… Those who wanted to Go ahead and get it over with And those who wanted to postpone t… This enabled some degree of self-s…
Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…
Fight fire With fire Accordingly, A bureaucracy can solve any proble… With more paperwork
Growing up was hard enough when we just had cliques not today’s clicks upon cliques
People wonder how long it will tak… AI to get smarter than us but the smart money is on us getting dumber than AI first
Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator
