When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it
I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch
They say love it or leave it yet what do you do if you love your country but it leaves you
A dissident today is anyone who realizes that since you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t
If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short
Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse
Like you I was born for greatness And, like you My call to greatness is “A great disturbance in the Force…
Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga
To be the bigger person you need to realize that egos are like animals: the smaller their proportions the greater their proportional str…
If it can’t be fixed but it must be fixed it stands to reason that you should keep trying the easy fix
It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
Give thanks to God For we are much obliged
Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche
What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…
