The left was once really good at keeping capitalism in check but then they lost their identity and have been looking for one ever… oblivious that it’s long since

If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions

Our view from the mor– al high ground was blocked by the Mt. Rushmore of golf

I was afraid of death which is to say afraid to live until I chose my hill to die on For in deciding where

Narrow minds see The narrow odds of making their es… Cleaving to the straight and narro… They’ve cleaved the path in two And because they can still see no…

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

I respond to A nail in my tire Like it’s the last nail In my coffin

Everybody knows The pen is mightier than the sword But few understand That it’s because The pen is a lightsaber

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

Looking back on college it’s unclear if I was a party animal party mineral or party vegetable

You know the (re)normalization of… is in full swing when the New Yor… justifies its publication of a cro… in the shape of a swastika on the start date of Chanukah

Democracy is a game of bridge where each coalition must partner… and going for broke requires not just suicidal risk but a suicide pact,

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works

An ideology will fail when followers are asked to believ… despite the fact that it isn’t tru… but will succeed as soon as those followers believe