In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor

No man is an island but plenty live in abandoned towns

There are No shortcuts On an Infinite journey

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess

We are all of us unreliable narrators Some of us just make a living at it

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

Scientists insist that 95% of the… consists of undetectable, unknowab… because this belief makes their ca… Like you and me the little that they do know

Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse

Like everyone else I dealt with My anonymity By becoming A recluse

We lost our way when we ran out of time and into eternity because space without time

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski