In the official version of my life I love my life In real life I love life itself

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

It’s counterintuitive but refusing to make hard choices only to see them made on your beha… by the loudest voices still counts as being hoisted by y…

Seeing as I’m just the messenger It would be easier to tell you Than to show you Because words are all I’ve got But since, if I told you

Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis

If you can convince people that something is inevitable they will behave as if it’s already happened making its eventuality a non-event

We are sleeping on God And our slumber is What keeps God up at night Worried we won’t make it home Where the heart is

If as according to us their problem is being worse than… at least they can get better But our problem

Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely p… But who is the audience? After all, we’re not performing

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

You can use the Force or you can use force and the Force will use you because the Dark Side or the Light Side

We used to worry about selling out; now we’re terrified of not buying in

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

When hell freezes over we’ll all skate on our sins

For about one hundred years it was no longer a secret that the easiest way to be a rational a… in an irrational world is to rationalize all