They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

In a great leap forward Nanotech reduced life To avoiding death By turning life Into a video game

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…

You’ve made Your waterbed Now steep in it

Only a poet Can accurately describe anything More accurately A poet can describe anything Except himself

Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

You know the (re)normalization of… is in full swing when the New Yor… justifies its publication of a cro… in the shape of a swastika on the start date of Chanukah

In the act of creating new life men presage their relationship with death

The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

When someone says Ask me anything You wonder what you’re not allowed… But that’s exactly what you can’t… Because they don’t know