The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb

We’ve all learned to speak interne… Rendering us one people divided By a common language Of zeros and ones Convinced we’ve broken the code

They put a circle at dead ends so you can either live there or turn back but we just keep

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

At first blush It all seems so unfair– We have to both please God And thank Him But then we blush

The fruit of the tree of knowledge… Has fully ripened In the form of the internet Which looms large With the promise of looming catast…

God is the only Subject Who see things objectively So, God’s object Is to change the subject And God knows that, like Him, we…

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

They call it open heart surgery But no one says open brain surgery Because, by default Our minds are closed And the only way to change minds

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo