The difference between A garden variety bullshitter And a bullshit artist Is that bullshitting is easy But a bullshit artist

This is a much simpler question than What does a woman want? Hamas wants to kill all Jews in Israel

80% of success is physical And the other half Of success Is failure

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

When I stand before this world I’m afraid to say What I have to ask you About my desire: “Is that too much to ask?”

If you accept this mission This message will self-destruct In five seconds So that you can be born believing… Which is the necessary condition

Those who show no compunction are the most gifted at seduction and short of a permanent injunctio… we all face induction by way of their unction

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

If I were going to rephrase the O… I’d say I believe in God because There’s no better explanation And if I were going to re-explain…

A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value

One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure

You don’t have to have children To help raise the children And you can have children Without working at it Raising children

You can’t make art worth dying for with what art is worth paying for

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position