I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

Narrow minds see The narrow odds of making their es… Cleaving to the straight and narro… They’ve cleaved the path in two And because they can still see no…

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

Knowledge is power said the company man of the hour on whom we all soon began to sour for institutional knowledge is dou…

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley

The first and most important task when you’re joining a non-hierarch… is finding out who’s really in charge The first and most important task

Because, per Morrissey “We hate it when our friends becom… we got rid of success by eliminating all competition except for the number of friends

Given a ship that would never sink we proceeded to run it aground in search of

Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

Materialism’s biggest assumption Is that death has the last word Which is why In their fear of death Materialists never let anyone else…

My mistake was Worrying they would throw me to th… Which is how wolves in sheep’s clo… Herd sheep I only escaped when I learned