The difference between the walking… And the walking dead Is what they have in common– The walking wounded can laugh at t… And the walking dead can only laug…

In all my dreams of flying my life has come

After that instead of talking about the weath… or staring at their phones people stared at anyone who talked

When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up

After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…

The opposite of failure Isn’t success It’s epic failure

I’m always asking God What is the meaning of life? In response, God looks at my life… What is the meaning of this?

I never expected It wasn’t forever Because that’s how long it would t… To explore the infinite So, if I’ve changed

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

Social media is proof of concept That you can please Some of the people all of the time And this starts to feel mighty pow… But this feeling is a forgetting

Your ego never knows it’s there Until you greet it Which you do By addressing the other

According to F. Scott Fitzgerald… “The test of a first-rate intellig… is the ability to hold two opposin… in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to fu…

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

As the civil war raged on between too much, too soon and too little, too late I thought I’d found