For a long time, the centrists were at the center of attention where the action was But now they find themselves at the center of a hall of mirrors

In France everyone thinks Scotch tape is crap

Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told

I have a different problem: there are no feelings to express my words

The pleasure of a new discovery is only exceeded by the satisfaction of making a recommendation

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…

In the story of The boy who cried wolf There was no wolf Until there was And there still is

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

In families adept at keeping open secrets no one expects you to state the obvious

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

Average academics Have a pet theory Dominant academics Have a pet theory about pet theori…

Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?