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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

She Wasn’t a Librarian Yet When I Married Her; It Was Only Later That I Found God

My wife is a lot like God
If God weren’t perfect
Like Him, she’s my toughest critic
But also my fiercest champion

Other works by Chris Gaither...
You’ll Get Nothing but Money and Like It!

The only stipulation they put on our capitulation was against any abrogation in accepting their congratulations
“Ahsoka Tano stated that anyone, with enough time, could learn to harness the Force. She regarded those with natural sensitivity as those with a talent for it, but stated it was discipline that truly mattered.”

The dark side of the Force Is the force of habit The light side of the Force Is the force of habit
I Believe Because It’s Observed

An ideology will fail when followers are asked to believ… despite the fact that it isn’t tru… but will succeed as soon as those followers believe
I’m a Fool

Steely Dan sings “I don’t wanna do your dirty work… again and again only once intoning “I foresee terrible trouble
Nothing Causes Offense Like Self-defense

When I said That’s none of your business they replied Actually, that’s our entire busine…
“Ha, banishment? Be merciful, say death”

The first step in bearing the trut… is telling it This will make you unbearable, starting the next step of banishme… Form there, it is up to you
Haiku

The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is
No One Is Alone Because We’re All in a Relationship; Loneliness Comes from Avoiding That Relationship

All relationships but one Are located on a continuum From one pole of complete trust To the opposite pole of total fear The exception that proves the rule
The Importance of Communication

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed
Postponing the Inevitable

In the act of creating new life men presage their relationship with death
Where God Is All Knowing, AI’s a Know-It-All

My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part
Have a Coke or a Smile

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid
You Can Almost See the Ocean

It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…
You’re Not Going to Believe It: You Better Believe It

Beliefs and behavior are the real… One leads to another And we have no idea How it all started Our name for that lacuna is God
I Had a Dream that I went to Sleep Without Taking My Contacts Out but When I Woke Up I Remembered that I Only Wear Reading Contacts and I Haven’t Been Able to Find Any Good Books

Finding God is like that feeling… When you look everywhere for your… But can’t find them anywhere Until you realize they are on your… They don’t have a word for this fe…



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