When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing

One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party

There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored

I respond to A nail in my tire Like it’s the last nail In my coffin

The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime

The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down

Yes Life is a pain But it is a labor pain

Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off

Fight fire With fire Accordingly, A bureaucracy can solve any proble… With more paperwork

The first difference between your… When you know your boss’s eyes are… You need to look busy But when you know God’s eyes are… You actually want to get busy

Don’t fear death– Time is the chisel With which we sculpt the infinite Or if, like me, you work with word… Each day is a first edition

Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is

While others await the second coming my own second shortcoming (the first– keeping the peace

The soul is like water The body a glass And a dead body is just A glass from which All the water has evaporated

I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof