The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…

Language shouldn’t work A word, all words Are defined by other words Defined by still further words And on and on

You can’t call timeout in soccer But you can fake an injury You can’t call timeout in life But you can fake yourself out By believing you’ve faked us all o…

There Is Always Room For

One thing I could do Was need control

You can cash in on your talent You can cash in on your good looks You can cash in on your hard work You can cash in on your good luck You can even cash in on all four

People want to get rich because they think money will make them happy People want to stay rich because they know that money

Consider the vowel: In Marxism, the last shall remain… as the second A in materialism always becomes the second E in mat… And in capitalism, of course

In polite society The most threatening words are alw… I’m disappointed in you Which is politesse for There’s a knife in you

You seem to have caught me in a gr… But it can’t be at all my fault if As you’ll see in the hieroglyph My back is to the cliff Over which the lemmings drift

I’d always said Que sera, sera expecting the last guffaw Instead it’s a last hurrah before one or the other coups d’et…

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

I was never comfortable in my own skin but I always felt okay in alligator boots

The sixth extinction was hardest of all on the balloon animal artists

The best part about Being a part of something great Is that I get to do my part