The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down

Yes, we have no bananas but we still need you to play second banana

When people ask Business or pleasure? I want to say Life’s only pleasure Is unfinished business

Actually, we all died in the pande… Life– I can’t afford not to Pandemic life– I can’t afford to… The afterlife– I can’t afford not…

Just as birds regurgitate to feed their young human beings have culture

When your nuclear family of origin Takes the nuclear option They’ve already gone mad and self-… So, they’re counting on mutual ass… To finish the job

When Plan A is not having a plan Plan B is not having an exit strategy

Inside the hierarchy Humiliation is both a warning That there are no individuals with… And a reminder That your place in the group is at…

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

When God closes one store He opens another

The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer

The culture war is a secret weapon in the class war which the haves use to keep the have nots

I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

It wasn’t false modesty exactly You might call it un-unpretentious if you were being pretentious