The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe

I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food

She was so cool that even her periods were fashionably late

You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear

In the beginning of the internet the world wide web was brimming with optimism due to a recency bias

Business or pleasure? Let’s get down to business and ple… This is also known as Dying happy

If: “The unconscious is structured lik… Then: The ego is structured like a trans… of that language into the mother t…

Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…

You’re only a real materialist If you demand that believers Do the impossible And then get angry When they prove you wrong

I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

Whenever it looks like the Jews have finally been accepted by their host culture you can be sure that trouble for the Jews

Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”