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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

In the 24-Minute News Cycle I can Be Famous 1.6 Times

In the beginning
of the internet
the world wide web
was brimming with optimism
due to a recency bias
that proved to be
the last gasp of
our decency bias

Otras obras de Chris Gaither...
Some Men Buy Trucks

I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof
“We shall go on to the end. We shall fight... whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

Facing a fate worse than death– Immortality with neither body nor… Because Nothing ventured, nothing lost– Life is worth dying for
Yes, “Existence Precedes Essence”, but Essence Exceeds Existence

We believe that God is being because it’s our only way to access God as meaning
Steve Spurrier Said Hindsight Is Always 50/50 and I Hope He Meant It

The amygdala tags memories such th… emotional events receive priority so when you rely on how you rememb… you’re trusting how you felt as if it weren’t always the case t…
Take Too

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and with much kindness”

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made
“All for freedom and for pleasure”

Everybody wants to rule the world And along come the Jews Claiming that God rules the world But nobody wants God to rule the… Because everybody wants to rule th…
Brand Loyalty’s a Bitch

Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
The Two of You Make Quite the Pair

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one
The Culture War Happened on Our Phones

Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare
It’s Impossible to Share and Impossible to Be Alone but It’s Possible to Do Both and We Crawled Out of the Ocean to Try

A fishbowl made of screen glass is a fishbowl made for one that is magically adjacent to every other fishbowl in this world we conjured where
“There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known”

No one loves a woman like her man and no one loves capitalism like its Marxists In each case
Post Everything– Churn, Churn, Churn. There’s No Offseason– Churn, Churn, Churn.

I like positive reinforcement As much as the next guy And the next guy Gets a lot of likes So, it’s back to the grindstone
You Will Never Find a More Wretched Hive of Pride and Prejudice and You Will Never See the Knife in Your Back

In polite society The most threatening words are alw… I’m disappointed in you Which is politesse for There’s a knife in you
Command Performance

The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology



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