My grandfather built his house
With his own hands
And yet later in life
Cut off half his thumb with a chainsaw
If Alanis Morissette is right
This is called irony
I’m not handy at all
But I still have all my fingers–
Instead, I cut off my nose
To spite my face
Because I still have all of my ego
If I’m right
This is called vanity
Isn’t it ironic?