In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,

If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

When did we ditch the Pledge of Allegiance for the wedge of a grievance

A fishbowl made of screen glass is a fishbowl made for one that is magically adjacent to every other fishbowl in this world we conjured where

I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing

Nothing is Risk-free Except hell

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime

There was always an urn on the man… made from terra cotta Little then did I know it was for the remains of the persona non gra…

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

You need to follow the rules all t… so that you’re following the rules… At the same time, you need to know exactly when to break the rules But there can’t be a rule for brea…

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine