Cartoonists always draw the lightb… pointing up so that no one will think it’s a n…

What do you call it when people are so bored that they start playing with fire and soon enough find themselves fighting fire with fire

I like to think of The signs we are all seeing As God’s soft opening

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right not to mean it

The difference between art and rea… is that the artist is doomed to re… the triumphs of the past

The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is

Either Life imitates art and becomes an exhibition Or Art Imitates Life

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

Business or pleasure? Let’s get down to business and ple… This is also known as Dying happy

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

When a woman chooses her mate His first real test Is whether he accepts her dare To propose If he does, we already know her an…

If you want to win friends and inf… Find out what they care about (This is easy) Ask them about it (This is significantly harder)

Where my father’s faith led him to wear a clerical collar I struggle with faith much as I do with ring around the…