When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade

Yes, we have no bananas but we still need you to play second banana

In the first take of Braveheart’s… Mel Gibson directed William Wall… “Freedom and responsibility!” But as a practiced antisemite Gibson quickly realized his error

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

Every writer has mistaken his shotgun for a rifle– He may hit where he aims but he will also surely miss In discharging his will to power

The truth is true Is a tautology The truth is untried and true Is an etiology

Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy

It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!

When you have to share everything else you can still hog the blame pie

In all my dreams of flying my life has come

The world has gone to heck And heck is hell Minus the pleasure