As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…

The new day will dawn When, at last Everything is clear as day And since that fateful day Of October 7th

It feels like I’m writ– ing an unauthorized au– tobiography

Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…

If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value

Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought

Antisemitism is suddenly easy to f… It’s a mile wide and just scratch the surface an inch deep– You’ll find it there

Mistakes are inev– itable; owning them is inestimable

It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral

The saying goes There’s no I in team But there is a me And it’s because You give yourself to the team

You can’t call timeout in soccer But you can fake an injury You can’t call timeout in life But you can fake yourself out By believing you’ve faked us all o…

I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me

If there is one thing we can all agree on it’s moral certainty

As long as I’m working I only feel free time slipping away The fear is that if I stopped working

When words fail you’re getting close to the truth But we’re just about to talk ourselves into