We thought we had finally notched… by confronting Father Time with the paradox of our times when self-defeating is the new win… but we can’t win for losing

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

Socialists count on the fact that there are no private languages but there is

It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me

We can’t fool God But we can fool ourselves into thi… We fooled God The surest way to do so Is to fool ourselves into thinking

Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker

Once the highly educated noticed t… in Buddhism right thought leads to right speech and right ac… it was only a matter of time before Mindfulness became

Writing history is hard especially when it’s about the past

A poem is worth A thousand pictures A life is worth A thousand paper cuts So, if I were to

When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up

We never know what’s in the offing Which is why we’re always on Except on Shabbos When we’re off And then it’s off to the races aga…

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

If you’ve been put in an impossibl… Consider the possibility that you Have been asked to do the impossib… And that a good leader Would never ask you to do

When I was a young man I couldn’t see the forest for the trees Now that I am old and wise I can’t see the forest