I have a tendency to overreact When people tell me to get lost By taking them literally and serio… Which is literally how I found Go… Seriously!

When the devil seduces a people pl… He always begins by saying Make yourself comfortable Because he knows That in order to make themselves c…

It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval

It was only after we debuted our sugar coated raisins to fight back against Craisins that I realized you could win hearts and minds

Why do we say Where there’s smoke, there’s fire when It’s the smoke that kills you, not…

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

I finally realized that when Smokey Bear says Only you can prevent forest fires Only I really believe him

The first and most important task when you’re joining a non-hierarch… is finding out who’s really in charge The first and most important task

The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…

We flatter ourselves that the prog… man vs. nature to man vs. man culminates in

The one thing postmodernists know… is that the surest way to control… is to convince people there are no… prompting an endless chain of seco… while provoking so much anxiety

God knows In a game of hide and seek The best place to hide everything Is right in front of your nose So, you’ll never believe what I j…

When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

The only ones you’d trust enough t… Do it yourself Are the very ones Who trust in God Clearly, then

The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end