Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

In my culture low hanging fruit is considered a delicacy

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of

To be an apparatchik In our collective dissolution of… It matters not Which side you take Just as long as you remain

My wife is R2-D2 Which, of course Makes me C-3PO She is constantly getting us into… In order to save us from ourselves

Peace is not the goal It is the byproduct of the goal The goal is obvious Which is why we can’t see it

When I was a baby My mother wiped my bum Social media, then, is the fountai… As I become its obedient child Every time it wipes my memory

Like a fine wine liberalism only rises to the subli… with a good pairing

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

Cyberspace has divided us By walling each of us into Our own private nihilo So, we’ll all be able to recognize… Because he will be able to walk th…

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

War gave way Not to peace But to endless meetings

Once masks became quote-unquote op… the unmasked were finally unmasked and the masked remained unamalgamated

Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors

When I ask myself if I might be wrong, there’s a whole lot of red tape